Joseph Stalin: The Early Years

On  the 3rd of April 90 years ago Joseph Stalin cemented his place in history by becoming the supreme leader of the Soviet Union, But do you really know who he was? Where he came from? Well today we will be taking a look at his life right up to the time he become a dictator in all but name.

Joseph Stalin was born in 18th December 1878 although there are many dates thrown about because he changed the date to avoid conscription. He was born in the small town of Gori in Georgia to an abusive alcoholic father and highly protective mother, His father beat him constantly which led to Stalin despising his father. The town of Gori was a lawless place and had a very strong gang culture which Joseph was very much apart of he was forever in trouble for fighting and stealing. At the age of 7 he contracted smallpox and his face was highly scarred. Later on in life he had all his portraits and photos retouched so he didn't look so god damn ugly, the joys of having absolute power I guess.

His mother was deeply religious and in 1888 managed to get him into theological school (that's church school for all you cretins!) Unfortunately his dad was adamant that he was going to have a trade. So when he found out the sh*t hit the fan, and in a drunken rage Stalin's father beat up the priest and vandalised the local pub. As was protocol of the times he was told never to return to the town, he ventured off to Tbilsi in search of work. At the age of 12 Stalin was hit by a horse drawn carriage and had to go to Tbilsi Hospital to recover. Whilst there his father kidnapped him and forced him to work in the cobbler trade, don't ask me what the hell a cobbler is because I don't know!! Luckily his mother and the local priests rallied together and got him back into church school where he graduated first in his class. To which his dad cut off all financial support and left his family to fend for themselves.

At the age of 16 he enrolled in  a super church school in Tbilsi. There he and other students started reading forbidden Marxist literature and even started to write poetry! In 1898 he joined the first Bolshevik parties. Just before his Final exams the seminary decided to raise the school fees ridiculously high, the Stalin's were unable to pay so he was expelled and never finished his exams. Shortly after leaving school he found the writings of one Vladimir Lenin and decided to become a revolutionary.

He then took a part time job in an observatory but spent most of his time in revolutionary activities, He soon drew the attention of the Russian secret police and managed to avoid capture on several occasions but it meant he had to leave the normal life behind and go underground, during this time he wrote articles for radical newspapers. In 1902 Stalin was involved in an arson attack and sentenced to 3 years exile in Siberia (also known as the sweaty asshole of the world!) . In  1903 he officially joined the Bolsheviks and in 1905 started to go across Georgia spreading discontent.

In 1906 Stalin met Lenin in Finland for the first time and although impressed by him was not afraid to stand against him on issues dear to his heart. He went back to Georgia and raised money for the Bolsheviks by extortion and bank robberies. He then met Leon Trotsky for the first time his rival as Lenin's successor he hated him instantly calling him pretty but useless. In 1907  Stalin pulled off a massive heist that brought alot of money to the cause but killed 40 people in the process, this act caused him problems for years to come. In 1910 he was finally arrested by the secret police and exiled for 5 years.

In 1912 he moved to St Petersburg but was caught again by the secret police and he was exiled to Siberia again, but he escaped just over a month later. He spent the next 5 years being upto no good, then caught  and exiled and repeat! In 1917 Lenin finally started the revolution and took power of Russia. During this time Stalin ordered the burning of towns just show his power, a clue to the future he had ahead of him. In 1922 Lenin suffered a stroke and was forced into semi-retirement, Stalin visited him often and acted as an intermediary to the outside world. Lenin criticised Stalin's brutality  ruthlessness and ambition and tried to have him removed from his high position, unfortunately for Lenin Stalin blocked this at every turn, he forged with alliances with other strong members of the communist party all to make his position against Trotsky stronger.

I will leave it there for now as this is a bit of an information overload! The next part of the Stalin series will be from 1922 to the end of world war 2. Cheers for now.

Dracula: The man behind the myth...

Count Dracula, probably the most famous villain of all horror. He has been portrayed in all aspects of the media books, films, even breakfast cereals! We all know who he is. But do you know where he came from? How it all started?

Count Dracula was first depicted in 1897 in Bram Stoker's novel Dracula. The story tells of how Dracula attempted to relocate from Transylvania to Britain, and the resulting battle between him and a group of people led by Van Helsing. This wasn't the first showing of the vampire, as there have been many stories and myths about bloodsuckers going through the ages. But Stoker really did start the vampiric phenomenon we see today. Although the book was praised by critics it wasn't an immediate bestseller. Victorian readers appreciated the story but it did not become significant until the art of film making boosted its reputation.

Now we all know (don't we?) that Count Dracula is a completely fictional character but it has been widely believed that he is largely based on Vlad III Dracula better known as Vlad the Impaler.
Vlad was a Transylvanian born Prince of Wallachia. He got the nickname "Impaler" due to the fact that he would torture and kill anyone he considered useless to him, His favourite method would be to impale them on a sharp pole and then leave them to die. It is rumoured that over 40,000 people suffered that fate by his order.  It was also said that Vlad drank the blood of his victims. But there is no evidence of this and it was probably started being spread after the Dracula connection became popular.

The word 'dracula' means "Son of Dracul" (dragon) is actually derived from a secret fraternal order of knights called the Order of the Dracul (dragon) that swore to defend Christendom and the Holy Roman Empire form the Ottoman Turks. The father of Vlad the Impaler, Vlad II was inducted into the order in 1431 because of the victories he had claimed against the Turks. From then on he wore the badges of the order and when he became ruler of Wallachia he even had the dragon symbol stamped on his coins. Bram Stoker was known to have had limited knowledge on Romanian history but it is unknown as to how much fact he inserted into the fiction.

Dracula has since become one of the all time most popular characters in history. It has spawned many films such as Dracula, Dracula and would you believe Dracula. There have been a total of 217 films made with Dracula playing a major part, that's second only to Sherlock Holmes (223 films).  The first film was made in 1922 it was called "Nosferatu" they avoided copyright issues by changing the names of all the books characters, as they could not get permission from Stoker's widow. 

Count Dracula is one of the few villains everyone loves. His character has spawned a wave of fascination throughout the world. Vampires would be nothing without him.  From him spawned Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the Legacy of Kain series, Blade, True Blood, The Vampire Diaries and even the sparkly losers from Twilight. Without him none of these hugely popular shows and games would ever of began. You know who to thank for their popularity and it sure as hell isn't Robert Pattinson.

Is this the end? No probably not...

Hi everyone,  not really much of a blog this week but I have been really busy doing things in the real world! This is pretty much an announcement more than anything. So here goes.


When I began this I called it Musings of an Idiot because A) I am an idiot and B) I intended to muse about my thoughts and feelings. As time went on I realised I really don't care about things that much, I also did not want this to be a thing where I moan about stuff. We hear moaning all the time!

So I started writing about what was happening in the week i.e Valentines Day, Pancake Day etc etc. I really enjoyed finding out the little facts and stories I didn't know. This is it, the announcement....

From next week I am changing the name of the blog to something more suitable (suggestions would be appreciated as I haven't got a f**king clue what it is yet!). The blog is going to be about interesting things that I come across, it could be anything a person in history, a city or the Mayans end of the world theory! As normal I will put a little dash of me into the mix and hopefully out will pop something you can enjoy. Maybe even say to yourself  "huh I never knew that".

I am even offering it out to you so we can all be part of this together. If there is a certain person, topic, festival, or even chocolate bar you want to know about, send me a message either through my facebook or my e-mail which is lei080387@hotmail.co.uk If I can I will research it and do a little write up you can all enjoy.

Whe I started this I never expected it to become as popular as it has so I will also take this time to thank you all for reading my stuff. I hope you will carry on and enjoy the show, because god damn it, Thats what its all about! I look forward to hearing your suggestions.

Cheers Leigh

Thirteen: Unlucky For Some..

So today is Friday the 13th which is a really unlu... Oh wait hang on, its Tuesday the 13th not so unlucky then! But there is a fascination with the number 13, lucky for some but unlucky to others. Who decided it was unlucky? Whats the history behind it? Well I am gonna tell you!

Many people believe that the origins of the unluckiness (if that is even a word!) of 13 comes from the Bible, Yes you got it! That little book crops up everywhere we go. There were 13 people at the last supper, Jesus and his 12 apostles. Even now in many countries its considered unlucky to have 13 people at a table. 13 is also the amount of witches you need to make a coven, and it is also the age you are ready to start using witchcraft. I myself am a level 45 warlock/ninja, if you believe that then you will believe anything!

Its thought that a year with 13 full moons will cause many problems, Apparently it was also massive nightmare for the monks who organised the calendars. But in a normal 100 years there are 37 years with 13 full moons I can't see it being that much of a big deal. The Mayan Calendar ends at the 13th Baktun, which many people/morons believe will be the Apocalypse! For Jewish people the number 13 is considered lucky, to which it is argued the unlucky number 13 stems from anti-semitism. On a traditional hangman's noose there are 13 turns, anything less is not strong enough to snap a neck. There is even a medical name for the fear of the number 13 Triskaidekaphobia!

13 has also been tagged with Friday, but why? Again its the bibles fault! Jesus was killed on a Friday, Noah's great floods started on a Friday, even Adam and Eve were tempted to eat the forbidden fruits on a Friday! Many countries have Fridays as there execution day. Friday in general is considered unlucky in many nations and faiths. So I guess two really unlucky things put together makes the mother of all unluckiness (still not sure if that's a real word or not!)! 

Also on Friday the 13th of October 1307, King Philip IV of France ordered the arrest of the Knights Templar. He had built up massive debts to them during the crusades. But at the time the crusades were losing popularity so he used this to his advantage. He had them arrested and tortued until they admitted heresy. He then used this to disband the order, thus freeing himself of his debts. The crafty bastard....

There are many more minor reasons why 13 is unlucky but many cultures consider 13 to be lucky. I guess its just one of those things! Seems to me like its been unlucky for most of our history so I suppose it will carry on being unlucky. Just remember its just a number and a day, the more you think bad stuff is going to happen the more it will. Thinks good thoughts and good things will happen, its the best way to be!

St Piran: Cornwall's Symbol

St Piran: The patron saint of Cornwall. Everyone knows his name, but do you actually know who he was, or what he did? Well if you don't by the end of this blog you will!

The Legend
So this is how the story goes. St Piran was born in Ireland sometime in the 6th century A.D . He became a christian Abbott and decided to preach the good Lord's name to the world, Hallelujah! Unfortunately for St Piran the heathen Irish weren't too keen on the idea of God and his troublemaker son Jesus. So instead of converting, they thought it would be a better idea to tie poor old Piran up, attach him to a mill-stone and throw him into the ocean. Problem solved, except when he was thrown into the stormy ocean, the sea grew calm, the rains stopped and the giant stone floated. A miracle if I had ever seen one! So as the heathens stood in disbelief, Piran sailed off into the sunset (I imagine he was also waving the middle finger, but that probably didn't happen).

He finally came ashore on a sandy beach in Perranzabuloe, where he set up a church, and helped spread Christendom to the Cornish, who I might add were much more welcoming than the Irish!
The Cornish had also been known as skilled miners and had supplied the Romans with tin for centuries, but due to the fall of Rome the skill of tin smelting had become lost. Luckily Piran rediscovered this method, by smelting the tin out of his black hearthstone, which must of been a tin-bearing ore. The rumour is that as the molten tin came across the hearthstone it formed a white cross. White molten tin cross on a black hearthstone background? That's a great idea for a flag, and that is exactly what the Cornish flag symbolises.

After many years St Piran died and his remains were buried at his abbey in Perranzabuloe. Centuries later his remains were exhumed and redistributed to different churches across the country. Exeter Cathedral got an arm, Perranzabuloe got his head so on and so forth. Churches in Perranarworthal and Perranuthnoe were dedicated to him. And holy wells in Perranwell and Probus are named after him. There also towns in Brittany named after him and even a mountain in Canada! Thats the story or is it?

The Probable Truth
This can be quite confusing so keep up!
The Irish Saint Ciarán of Saighir, who founded the monastery at Seir-Kieran (Saighir) in County Offaly, is widely believed to also be St Piran, this is due to the fact that in the Celtic language The 
P-Celtic Brythonic (Cornish, Welsh, and Breton) 'P' can easily be transformed into the
Q-Celtic Goidelic (Gaelic, Manx, and Scottish) 'C'. I am not gonna pretend I really know what that means but if you do your research it keeps coming up! It is also believed Ciarán had travelled to Britain to spread christianity. The feast day of Saint Ciarán is also March 5. In the 14th Century the life of St Piran was written at Exeter Cathedral, where rumour has it the records were modified to distance Piran from Ciarán. Who knew the Catholic church could be so devious?

Well there you have it in a nutshell, but as I have been researching this, whether or not he was Piran or Ciarán. I thought to myself does it really matter? He certainly didn't float here on a rock! But he is a symbol for Cornish pride, and as a nation (we ARE a nation, whether England likes it or not!) you need symbols, a rallying point to share your heritage. March 5th is a day to venerate him and show the rest of the world that we are proud to be Cornish.  KERNOW BYS VYKEN!

Leap Year: What they didn't tell you!

So February 29th is upon us, but why the hell do we add 24 hours to our year? And why only every 4 years? Well this week we are going to unravel the wonder that is the leap year....

How It All Began
Right this is gonna take some real explaining so bear with me.
We all know that the Roman Empire were the worlds first superpower, and pretty much ruled the known world. (This is a basic backstory!) The original Roman Calendar had ten months, Starting from March to December. This is why September is no longer the 7th month, same goes for October and December and their respective numbers. Then  Numa the second King of Rome added two months to the calender: Ianuarius (January) and Februarius (February). All went swimmingly for the next 600 years, and as the Kingdom of Rome became The Roman Republic, the seasons started to shift out of sync.

The Egyptians now part of the Roman Republic figured out that The Roman calendar wasn't lined up correctly with the solar calendar (365.242199 days), So the leader at the time, Julius Caesar added an extra ten days to the year and added the leap day to come at the end of February every 4 years. The pompous git also changed the month of Quintilis to Julius (July) in his honour. For an added bonus his son Augustus also changed the month Sextilis to...... come on I am sure you can work it out! The clue is in his name! Caesar's reforms actually weren't far off the solar calendar and for the next 1500 years all was good, well apart from the fall of the empire an the world being plunged into the dark ages, but I digress....

In the year 1582 Pope Gregory XIII tweaked the Julian Calendar to the current Gregorian calendar we use today.  The leap day is still at the end of February almost very 4 years. Except the rule is a leap year can only happen on a year that is divisible by 4, but can never happen on a year divisible by 100 unless it can also be divided by 400, not too confusing then! A good example is that 1900 wasn't a leap year but 2000 was. So there you have it a brief and basic history of our calendar, and the leap day!

Interesting Leap Year Facts

• The Gregorian calendar isn't perfect, it will go out of sync with the Solar Calendar by 1 day every 3236 years!
• The Chinese calendar doesn't have a leap day, it has a leap month!
• Sweden (and Finland) had a "double" leap year in 1712, because two days were added to February. That year there was a date February 30, 1712. This was done because the leap year in 1700 was dropped, and Sweden's calendar was not synchronised with any other calendar. By adding an extra day in 1712, they were back on the Gregorian calendar.
• Your chances of being born on a leap day are approximately 1 in 1500. There are about 4 million people in the world who were born on Leap Day.
• If you were born on a leap day, you will celebrate your birthday on either the 28th of February or the 1st of March.
• As the story goes, the tradition of women romantically pursuing men in leap years began in 5th century Ireland, when St Bridget complained to St Patrick about the fairer sex having to wait for men to propose. Patrick finally relented and set February 29th aside  allowing women the right to ask for a man's hand in marriage.

Everything you never needed or wanted to know about leap years summed up in a lovely little blog. Hope you enjoyed it, even if it meant you had to learn something!

Lent: Why not give that up?

So yesterday was the 3rd best day of the year (Behind christmas day and my birthday!) the wonderful festival of cake from a pan, or to normal people Pancake day. I ate loads! Here is a list of the toppings I used: Clotted Cream,  Maple Syrup, The squirty lemon stuff, Chocolate Syrup, oh and sugar. Really its Shrove Tuesday and until now I didn't really know what it means or why the hell we eat pancakes on it either. So let us dive in to the history of the mystery of Lent..

Lent
Well until today I assumed everyone knew what lent was. Until I asked an employee at work what he was giving up for lent, to which he replied "No I didn't lend you anything". What a tit. I then asked weren't you baptized? he stated (and I sh*t you not)  "No I was christened" The tit grows larger...
Anyway, Lent starts on Ash Wednesday and ends on Easter Sunday. Typically if you are serious in your faith (which just to be clear I am not) You will fast during this period, whereas most people nowadays give up chocolate for a week, then say well I done a week and then stuff themselves! The story goes that Jesus fasted for forty days in the desert and withstood temptation from the devil, Lent is basically emulating it. Also sundays don't count in Lent so this period is actually longer than forty days.

Shrove Tuesday
Its the day before Lent. Last chance to do all the naughty stuff you can't do for the next forty days except Sundays. There is actually a good reason why its pancakes we eat on shrove tuesday. As I said the most die hard christians fast during Lent. In the olden days your main staple would of been sugar, fat, flour and eggs, Holy crap! Thats the ingredients for pancakes! Get the picture you ate pancakes to use everything up before you started fasting. Kinda makes sense when you think about it.

Ash Wednesday
Thats it if you didn't enjoy all the good stuff yesterday, TOUGH! It's too late because now its fasting street for the next forty days (apart from sundays!) The reason its named so is because this is the day you go to church to repent, and we all know how christians love to repent! While you're in the church repenting like you have never repented before, You will have the symbol of the cross drawn on your head with what? Thats right you guessed it, ashes. To those who said crayon shame on you!  The ash cross is to symbolize mourning and why not, more repentence. It is predominantly done from the ash of palms burnt and blessed from the previous years Palm Sunday. The wearer must not wash off the cross but rather leave it till it wears off naturally. This is of course optional in the modern day society.

So there you have it, pretty much the long and short of it dumbed down to these three paragraphs. Whether you are religious or not, its good to have these traditions where we can try and change something in our lives we are not happy with. So whether you are fasting or only giving up chocolate, stick at it. After all its only forty days bar sundays....

Valentines Day: The Celebration of Love

So its Valentines Day again, the one time of the year where some have a great day and others, well don't! But whats it all about? Where did it start? So I thought I would enlighten you to the secrets of Valentines Day...

Saint Valentine
Saint Valentine is actually the culmination of two people, Valentius of Rome and Valentine of Terni.
Despite popular belief neither of these people actually had nothing to do with romance or love, There is no credible reason for them to be connected to the holiday! go figure..

The Legend of St Valentine
Story 1 says that St Valentine was persecuted as a Christian and interrogated by the Roman emperor Claudius II in person. Claudius was impressed by Valentine and had a discussion with him, attempting to get him to convert to Roman paganism in order to save his life. Valentine refused and tried to convert Claudius to Christianity instead. Because of this, he was executed. Before his execution, he is reported to have performed a miracle by healing the blind daughter of his jailer.
Story 2 is a slightly differnet version. Which portrays Valentine as a priest who refused an unattested law attributed to Roman Emperor Claudius II, allegedly ordering that young men remain single. The Emperor supposedly did this to grow his army, believing that married men did not make for good soldiers. The priest Valentine, however, secretly performed marriage ceremonies for young men. When Claudius found out about this, he had Valentine arrested and thrown in jail.
There is an additional modern embellishment widely repeated despite having no historical basis whatsoever. On the evening before Valentine was to be executed, he would have written the first "valentines" card himself, addressed to the blind daughter of his jailor Asterius, signing as "From your Valentine."

The Beginning of the Holiday
So in the 14th Century, a man who is considered one of the greatest english poets Geoffrey Chaucer wrote the poem 'Parlement of Foules'  this was the first time that St Valentine was referenced to romance. Over time he became more and more entwined with love and in 1797 the first valentines card was produced. It became so popular that by the 1840's the first cards were being mass produced instead of being handwritten. In the U.S the practice of  giving roses and chocolates soon took hold and spread all over the world. Seeing how popular the day has become the diamond industry decided to jump on the bandwagon and in the 1980's started promoting giving jewellery as gifts. This all helped it become the commercial holiday it is today.

So there you have it. And you thought it was just about giving a card to a loved one. I have thought long and hard about it, and I have also heard some complain about the holiday. But I think that its good to have a day where you can show how much someone means to you, Life is a constant battle and sometimes you do lose sight of things. At the very least it makes you realise whats important to you. Even if the card and chocolate companies try to corrupt Valentine's that doesn't mean you should ignore it. Follow your heart and show someone you care...

Old People: You Gotta Love 'em!

So today my gran decided to take it upon herself to buy a new mobile phone. Why do they do it?
Let me take you to the beginning of the story, My gran bought her first mobile phone years ago, She didn't know how to use it. Fair enough I was more than happy to show her. Two weeks later I was happy to show her again. For the next few years I kept being pestered to teach her the same things over and over again!

Just as she got used to it, and the cries of "How do I unlock my phone?" stopped, she bought a new phone (because it was pink I might add!). Instead of buying a silver phone similar to the one she was used to she bought a pink one that was totally different. I knew what was coming, "can you teach me how to use it?". Fine no problem, so repeat the whole frigging process except change unlock to "What does silent mean?"

It has been 3 weeks since her last phone drama, I thought I was scott free. I could see light at the end of the tunnel, only for God to say "ummm don't be silly!". So here we are I walk through the door see the empty phone box and instantly wish  I was a small bug and that someone will step on me!  First she couldn't find the R button, (just so we are clear its number 7) I show her and then run. But I will tel you for someone that is waiting for a new knee she moves really quick! I was chased down the hall and realised there was no escaping it. I was going to have to be smart. this is how the conversation went:

"are you busy?"
" uh I was gonna go for a run"
" Well I want you to sit down with me and show me how to use this phone"
I looked at the phone realised I've found my way out  "I don't know how to use this phone, I have never seen or used this make before"

Thinking I had won, I wanted to help but just couldn't I didn't know how to work it. Devious I know but this is phone 5 and I am losing the will to live!

"Thats ok you look at it, figure it out then teach me"
 Is she kidding me?!
"let me get this straight, you want me to learn how to use the phone and then teach you? You already know more about the phone than me, carry on learning yourself then you don't need me"
" No thats ok, your the smart one. No one has got the brains like you"

Son of a bitch! She has beat me at my own game, even used a bit of flattery to hook me. So instead of a relaxing evening, I will be banging my head against a wall, telling her over and over that to get to R you have to push 7 three times! Have a great night everyone...

Life: Is there a bigger bitch?

You should never take life seriously because you'll never get out alive. Easier said than done don't you think? Now if you are someone that knows me, I am sure that if I asked you to sum me up in one word, that word would be 'joker'. Which for the most part would certainly be true, I love the sound of laughter whether it's mine or someone else's. I don't think there is a better sound, its infectious. You can't help but join in. Tell me? Can you say that if you see a baby laugh, you don't crack a smile.

But  Recently I have been feeling down, Now I am not gonna bore with the details. To be honest in the grand scale of things its very trivial. But it gets you thinking doesn't it? Whats it all about? We slog day in and day out, and for what? A wage that barely gets us by and to pay taxes to government that just squanders our money. How did we come to this routine? You look back and you always think (no matter how old you are!) the olden days were better.

What has happened to community spirit? Chivalry? I really believe in these things, Treat others how you would like to be treated. But I am starting to get depressed with the way of things. I asked an eldery women if she needed help the other day, she said no and I could see in her eyes the suspicion and fear. It makes me sick! Instead of helping our fellow man, we are prewired to be cautious of everyone and everything.

So I have decided to throw out a challenge to you all. I want you to help someone who is need, even if it is just holding a door open. If we all do something nice for each other maybe we can make the world a better place instead of relying on someone else to do it for us. Lets make our short trip on this Earth a worthwhile one.

Television: Where did it all go wrong?

So here we are in the middle media boom! Technology has progessed so far that we can now actually make our wildest and dreams a reality. CGI, 3D, HD and Blu-ray to name a few have revolutionised our viewing experience, but has anyone else noticed that we are watching complete and utter sh*t?

Tv is getting dumber and dumber everyday, and I am beginning to wonder if I am the only one that has noticed it. Now I know its not all bad and there are still some pretty good shows out there, but can you honestly say that there has been shows as good as tv of old? Lets have a look at the main criminals of todays tv....

Big Brother
When Big Brother started the premise was genius, a social experiment to see how people act when they are seperated from the rest of the world. But as the years roll by, Its now become a group of wannabes and morons locked away with people hoping they see someone have sex. Wells here's my advice instead of watching this crap there is plenty of porn out there!

Geordie Shore
You have got to be kidding me? Who the F**k is stupid enough to be watching this? How did it get approved for a second series? If you do watch this show and are reading this. Thank you because you are actually slowing down human evolution with your stupidy....

Made In Chelsea
A prime example why stupid people shouldn't have money. They are sheltered and ignorant. Put them all in a boat and then sink it. Now I would watch that!

X Factor
This again was a very clever show, unfortunately Simon Cowell saw The £££ signs and all integrity of the program has died. If they had ended it 3 years ago we would be looking back with fond memories but instead they have bled it dry and we will only remember the poisoned husk it has become. It also help pave the way for some truly awful reality competition shows.

The Only Way is Essex
The Devil of all tv shows! Paris Hilton fell from favouritism and we thought all young girls were safe from being told its cool to be a slag. Then along comes this crap, with 'vajazzles' and god only knows what else! It makes a mockery of Essex, I am sure there are some intelligent and interesting people in Essex but why don't they show more of them instead of these self obessed morons. The producers make the county look like the place where idiots are born. It has now come to my attention that they are turning it into a film. Satan does exist and he's from Essex...

I reckon I will get alot of stick for this but can you honestly disagree with me? I am biased but this isn't impartial, its my views. Look back and see the great shows we used to have Only Fools and Horses, The Generation Game, Dads Army, Porridge. The list goes on, and they are all timeless classics. And they always bring a smile to my face. Thats the tv I miss....

Relationships: A Game Where Nobody Knows The Rules...

Are you ready? Because today is a big one relationships!
Oh yes the one thing we think we know all about but really haven't a clue.  This isn't a bashing from a miserable single guy, (which technically I am!) but there are some things that need to be addressed. The things we all think but never say.

So lets cut to the chase. I love being in a relationship, I love having someone to spoil. That someone that whenever you think about them you can't stop smiling. Its a great thing I love being romantic. But people always seem to forget that there is work involved. And there is, so let us take a moment to dissect these fallacies.

Love at First Sight
To put it bluntly there is no such thing. (unless you are a friend of mine  who wants to marry every girl he looks at!) What you get is lust at first sight, love is something that happens over time. Funnily enough thats why its called falling in love, because it happens the over time it isn't instant. Where you get confused is that when that special moment happens and you realise you love them, you forget ever not loving them. (the same is applied to breaking up, you feel like you can never not love them but over time you forget why you did).


I Will Never Hurt You
If anyone and I mean anyone says this to you immediately kick them in the shin and tell them to grow up! People hurt each other it happens. 9 times out of 10 you probably don't mean to. People also argue, get over it! Things get said in the heat of the moment and you hurt the feelings of the person you love, So what? If the love is there it shouldn't matter, you go away; calm down; and then realise that argument was meaningless. If you can't then perhaps the relationship isn't right.

Making Them Suffer
Whats the f**king point? Listen very carefully and you might save yourself some tears, If your partner has the balls to apologise after an argument, have the balls to accept it. In one relationship it all went tits up because we were both too stubborn to say sorry first, and then when one of us did instead of accepting it, we would be a dick about it!

Having Their Cake and Eating It
If you catch your partner cheating, DON'T give them another chance. You only make yourself look stupid. The great line "its the biggest mistake I ever made" is bullsh*t. If they truly loved you they wouldn't risk what you have, the fact that they did proves how little they thought of you, and they certainly don't deserve your love.

Honesty
It really is the best policy. Again to lean on an old relationship, I had a girlfriend who wouldn't tell me when she was upset or if something was wrong. I Hated the not knowing, you want to help but they shut you out.  Then I got angry for being in the dark, which leads to arguments etc etc. You don't have spill your guts out but just the outline to help make your partner understand will go along way. Again if you can't trust them with your feelings perhaps the relationship isn't right.

So I know we could go so much deeper but I can't sit here all day writing this crap! Its pretty much common sense. Love is a game of give and take. No relationship is perfect or easy but why should it be?  Easy is boring. Working to make something special like a great love story should be a challenge.
Instead of wasting time chasing a pot of gold, sit down and enjoy the rainbow.....

Ok here goes!

Hi everyone,So I have decided to write a blog, why I here you ask? Well I guess I feel like I have a lot of stuff I need to get out. Some of it will make you laugh, so might make you cry, who knows?
If even just one person reads one of my blogs and it helps them in some way, it makes it all worthwhile.
I don't really know what I am going to talk about, perhaps everyday things. I might even go all the way and have a rant about politics (because lets be honest, everyone loves a good rant!)

So let us begin. I really do have something to get off my chest, to some it won't make sense but to others I am sure will know exactly what I mean. Last night I found something out, something I didn't really want to know. Its kind of ironic because if I was perhaps a bit more ignorant I would of never noticed that something was out of place....

First of all its no great drama and I only felt that horrible feeling you get in the pit of your stomach for a split second and then it was gone. But it did get me thinking about bad news and how we react to it, because the list of ways is endless. Some people like to bottle it up, others ignore it and go about there day as if there is no problem, some prefer the tried and tested blowing a fuse, but lets be honest that never gets you anywhere!

Myself I am a talker. I can't keep things inside, if I do they eat away at me. ( I don't know what the medical term is, but I am sure they have coined it somewhere!) I am also (as some of you are well aware) very impatient, for me sometimes a minute really does last a lifetime. Its one of my insecurities, I think it stems from the way I react around people. Even when I know otherwise, I always have a massive fear that people will just lose interest in me over time so I have to get it all out before that moment! (Sorry if you are one of the people that have been affected by this problem, and I know there are quite a few!) But I digress, back to the point....

Bad news also comes in many forms, sometimes it a little thing you can shrug your shoulders to.
Others aren't so little.  Some people think breaking bad news is straightforward you tell someone the facts of a situation. But anyone who has a higher intelligence then a goat knows that bad news can be an emotional bomb just waiting to blow. Even medical science says that bad news if strong enough can cause a physical reaction.

So the first thing I did was talk about it to a friend I work with, he didn't say much, he didn't need too. Its not the advice I am looking for, its that I had someone that I could trust and that would listen to me. Then it hit me CRASH BANG WALLOP. I never realised how lucky I am in life. I have a great group of friends that I know I can always count on and trust with my life.  I also have a family that support me in everything I do ( even when it quite possibly the stupid things I have done. which 9 times out of 10 is!) So to you people and you know who are! Thank you.

So this is my little lesson for you people, if your feeling down or upset and you usually keep it to yourself trying talking to someone. And if you are with someone that is upset or angry, why don't you try listening to them, be a shoulder.  What have you got to lose?